it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
