A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
