i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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