google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
