Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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