im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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