Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
