office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
