That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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