I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I came so hard my ears popped.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
