so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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