You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
