Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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