Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
