All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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