He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
