i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
