just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
