cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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