I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
