was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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