Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
