Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
handjob tips. give me some.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Randomize
