Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
BRING THE BAGELS
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
