He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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