I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It's shark week go big or go home
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
