He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
