My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
