just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
