Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
