Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
