I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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