He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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