I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
