I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
