apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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