Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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