too bad you live with your parents still
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
