it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
