MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
