i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
