I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
