He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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