when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
