your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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