I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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