I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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