Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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