i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize