drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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