we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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