We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
