dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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