why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I have fence marks all over my body
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
