She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
