Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
