you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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